It is hard to explain how I was positioned, but I will try. I had lunged back into our car when I thought I could throw it into park. The car door was still open.  So, half of my body was in the car, the other half was on the ground.  And now the car had run into Michael's car, where I was now sandwiched.   The car was pressing right into my abdomen, right under my ribs.  Therefore, I could not breathe at all. 

I did what I believe the Lord told me to do next.  I laid on the horn.  And did not stop. 

Michael was inside the house with our two children.  He came running out, but because I was in between the car, he could not see me.  He ran to the front of the car, where he could see me through the windshield.  I yelled,

"If you do not get this off of me, I am going to die."

So, he tried and tried and tried to lift it.  It was not budging. 

Oh, God I am going to die here.

All of a sudden, I could see a man, in the rearview mirror, behind the car. 

"Get him!  Get him!"

He ran around to the front of the car and tried to help Michael lift it, but it was too heavy for even both of them. 

I knew I was suffocating. I just wondered how much longer I could live.  It is amazing all the things that go through your mind in that short amount of time.  The thought that went around and around in my head was Michael being a single dad to basically two babies, one being a newborn. 

Will Micah be ok?  I am breastfeeding him.  Will he survive without a mom?  How will Michael take care of two babies who are so little?  Is this how I will die?  I can't breathe.  I am going to die in my driveway.  I can't believe I have help here, and I'm still going to die. 

Suddenly, two more people appeared.  All four or them lifted the car and pushed it back.  I fell down onto the driveway.  And took a deep breath. 

This is my story. . .

Last week I had the opportunity to guest post for a blog that I have followed for a while.  I hope you enjoy it!

"I remember one morning, sitting on my couch in our living room.  Our money was so tight that I could not even squeeze one drop out of it.  I told God that I felt like I was at the bottom.  And ever so quietly and gently, I received the answer I did not want to hear:

I am at the bottom.  So, if you want to be with me this is where we are going to hang out."

You can read the rest of my article here:

http://amamasstory.com/2014/06/freefall.html

It was almost Mother's Day.  Micah was about two months old. 

I had gone to the store to buy my mom the new Barbara Streisand CD while Michael stayed at home with the kids.  I turned into our driveway, which sits on the side of our house on somewhat of a slope, and proceeded to get out of the car.  Either I did not put it in park or the gear shift broke, but all that I know is that the car started rolling forward.  As the car continued to move, I lunged back in to push the gear into park.  The next thing I knew was that my body was pinned up against Michael's car.   It happened so quick.  I went from getting out of the car to now not being able to breath.

"Wait, what just happened?" I thought to myself.  "I can't breathe." 

I remember looking down at my ribs and seeing that with each breath I took, the car squeezed me that much more. 

"I am suffocating."

I tried to turn and push and pull and twist.  There was not getting out.  I was stuck.  There was no way to move this massive amount of weight that was now taking over my body. 

The car was still in gear.  The driveway was sloped.  I was basically the only thing that was keeping our cars from colliding, or I was the only thing that was keeping my car from rolling into the street. 

"Oh, God help me.  I'm going to die like this. Oh, God help me.  God, help.  God, I can't die like this. God, I can't die in my own driveway with my family inside my house." 

I started to scream and yell with the little bit of air that I did have.  To no avail. We live on a very busy street, and no one was going to hear me. 

Oh, God, I am going to die like this. 

Then a voice, "Lay on the horn."



This is my story. . .

1.  Caroline

I remember one day, about eight years ago, standing on my porch with a group of friends.  We were talking about the "in" crowd, and I was proud to consider myself to be a part of that.  I felt like I belonged here and that I was in pretty good standing, society-wise.  Michael had a great job, we lived in a beautiful home, I was staying home with Caroline, I was on the board of a non-profit organization and a member of several other clubs. . .everything was going so smoothly.  In that moment, I can remember feeling that I had "arrived." 

So, when the time came for me to make a decision about staying at home, the answer was clear.  And Michael and I were in agreement.

Before I left Aquinas, one of the Sisters said to me, in regards to our decision,

"You are the only person in the world who can be a mom to your children."